by Katrina Spencer
If you’ve never had your neighbor’s 2003 Ford Taurus station wagon jump a curb and enter your residential living room, let me tell you: it’s disruptive. You’ll definitely have to cancel your meetings for the rest of the afternoon.
You remember the Kool-Aid commercials from the ‘90s when a big-ass pitcher of fruity, red, sweetened water made its entrance on the scene? Like, “Wham-O! Oh yeah! I’m here and I brought sucrose for everyone!” It’s like that, but with more shards of glass and broken brick. And, of course, no sugar spike.
When you arrive downstairs on scene to inspect the damage seconds letter, trapped inside your home because the bush your neighbor has utterly demolished is blocking your exit, she is dutifully parking, being sure to put her sun visor in place because even significant, life-threatening property damage shouldn’t keep one from protecting their car’s interior from the damaging rays of the summer sun! Let’s all maintain decorum!